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Punishing himself for a horrific past that is not his fault, bestselling author Alexander Montgomery seeks redemption and love—and perhaps he will find it.
Famous author though he may be, Alexander Montgomery is not someone you take home to meet Mother. Seriously flawed, damaged by a horrific past, he’s trying hard to claw his way back to normality. But how can anyone respect what he truly is? His therapy involves regular sessions at Study in Scarlet, an exclusive S&M club.
Then comes Sage. Tall, with black hair and blue eyes, an up-and-coming actor with impossible charm and boy-next-door good looks, he’s the perfect choice to play the leading man in a TV adaptation of Alex’s last best-seller. Even more, he is a man you introduce to your family. Which Alex would do—if he weren’t taken by another man who offers the punishments Alex prays will wipe away the past and make him the person he wants to be. Yet, perhaps there is another path to redemption. If only the solution would reach out and touch him.
This is my first book by Ms. Mac Nicol and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Alexander Montgomery, a best selling author, comes face to face with the muse for his male lead character from his books, actor Christopher Sage, a man who will play the character in the TV adaptation of his books. From that moment forward, the reader will be rooting for these two openly gay men to find their way to each other.
This really well done male male read is not about either man’s inability to be open with their sexuality, it is about the struggle to have a relationship when your past is so dark, so haunted, you not only don’t know what happy is, you don’t even think you deserve it.
Sage and Alex start down the path of a relationship with a set of rules that Alex thinks will allow him to move forward. Both men struggle at times with those parameters (yes I am trying to vague) and the struggle fells so real and true to the characters created. My heart a times ached for both men; Alex who just finding a way to move forward and Sage who is struggling to understand the depth of Alex’s hurt.
The reader slowly learns about Alex as he shares some of his past with Sage; the reader also see more about Alex than Sage knows so at times you may shake your kindle and say please tell him more; he might understand.
Note to readers as the blurb warns this book has BDSM, some showing the positive aspects some showing negative; both of which I thought were handled very well in the context of the story but this book is not for the faint of heart.
I thoroughly enjoyed the use of Alex’s therapist; a wonderful lady who uses some traditional therapy method’s as well as some unorthodox recommendations to try to help Alex heal his soul. Her understanding of Alex and desire to help him without judgement truly added to the story.
As the depth of Alex’s past comes to light, my heart broke for this man in way I was not sure was possible for a fictional character. Alex did find his “voice” when faced with just how purely evil some men can be but will that act threaten his here and now… well for that you need to read the book.
Please do note this book takes places in Europe and is written by UK author so there are some terms and words that may not be familiar to the American reader; this did not affect my read in anyway.
Thank you to the author for a story that will sit with me for sometime to come! Sage and Alex deserve the happy they fought so hard for.
Alex Montgomery stood at the window of his boyfriend’s cottage and gazed out into the darkness beyond. He was both shattered and elated. Shattered because of the frenetic activity in entertaining half a dozen people for a hectic and boisterous Christmas lunch. Elated because it had been his first Christmas Day as a member of a proper family. He’d observed all the people he loved the most chatting in various stages of excitement and the Yuletide peace he’d felt at being part of it had been overwhelming. Being surrounded by people like these had been the best Christmas present he could ever have had. Apart from one other thing. He looked fondly over at his lover, his saviour and the man he adored more than any other. Christopher Sage, known as Sage to friends and family, muttered to himself as he pottered around cleaning up debris and glasses from the evening’s entertainment now everyone had left.
“I swear that poxy friend of mine takes great pleasure in leaving the most god awful mess when he leaves a place,” Sage muttered as his blue eyes darkened. “Dan has this habit of leaving a bloody war zone behind wherever he goes. Did you see what he did to Sophie? Waving his arms around and knocking her off the table, soil everywhere. She’ll be lucky to survive the assault.”
Alex grinned. Sage’s cherished indoor plant, a Schefflera affectionately called ‘Sophie’, held a special spot on the coffee table at the side of the couch. Dan had been describing some past indiscretion with an ex girl friend and in his exuberance had knocked Sophie off her perch onto the floor. Alex remembered chuckling loudly at the injured expression on his lover’s face as Sage leapt to her rescue. He watched Sage now as he lovingly stroked the plant’s leaves, Sophie having been tenderly restored to her rightful place with fresh potting soil. Alex couldn’t help a snort escaping his lips.
Sage looked up, his eyes narrowed . “What’s that snort for?”
Alex shrugged. “Oh nothing. I’m just not sure I want to be the third wheel between a man and his plant. First I have to put up with horses, now greenery. It’s enough to make a man feel very unloved.” He laughed as Sage scowled.
“Joke on, babe. I’ve grown Sophie from a cutting and it’s the only damn thing I’ve ever managed to grow without it dying on me.” He stood up from picking up bits of soil up from the carpet and cast a sultry look at Alex. “Besides, you have nothing to worry about. I can’t do to this plant what I intend doing to you. I’m sure there must be a word in the dictionary for someone performing lewd acts with pot plants. And it’s probably illegal.” He smiled, his eyes darkening as he licked his lips.
Alex’s groin tingled at the expression in Sage’s eyes as his lover eye fucked him from top to bottom. “And what type of lewd acts might they be?” Alex murmured softly. “Anything special in mind?”
Sage dropped the bits of soil back into Sophie’s base and wiped his hands on his jeans. “I’m thinking a little mouth to cock resuscitation to whatever’s going on in there,” he waved at Alex’s crotch and said cock sprung to attention in Alex’s pants,” then perhaps a more intense approach involving both of us stark naked and on the bed with me inside you?” He cocked a dark eyebrow and moved over to Alex. As he approached, Alex’s heart rate increased and he swallowed. Sage in a teasing mood was one of the sexiest things he’d ever experienced. His boyfriend had the whole ‘predatory stalker thing’ down pat, his lazy smile and lean, strong body giving off a sensual appeal that was hard to resist. Alex had seen women literally swoon at the sight of Sage on screen and he took great delight in knowing he was all his.
“Would that show you I care more for you than the plant?” Sage whispered as he got closer and ran a thumb over Alex’s bottom lip. Alex’s cock was rock hard and he leaned in and wrapped his arms around Sage’s waist, pulling their eager groins together.
“I think it might be a start,” he murmured as his tongue found Sage’s inner ear, causing Sage to shiver head to toe. Alex mined deeper with a hungry tongue then slid his lips down Sage’s throat.
Sage groaned and kneaded Alex’s arse cheeks with rough hands. “God, what you do to me. I swear one of these days I will simply self combust.”
Alex chuckled wickedly as he drew back to observe his boyfriend. “I want to make you combust in other ways. But I had a different idea in mind. Tonight, my sexy man, it’s my turn to be in you. I fancy an extra Christmas present.”
“Your new leather jacket and signet ring wasn’t enough from me for Christmas?” Sage licked the side of Alex’s jaw line with a wet, warm tongue. “You feel the need to top as well? Well, I can’t refuse a man his last Christmas wish of the day.” His hand snaked down and squeezed Alex’s crotch causing him to hitch a deep breath. Alex didn’t top his lover that often. But on the occasions when he did, Sage was most accommodating. Alex’s cock surged skywards at the thought of enveloping himself in the smooth heat that was Sage.
“I’ve been thinking about it for the last few hours, wishing everyone would bugger off and go home. But I need to shower first. I smell like turkey, gluhwein and stuffing.”
“Hmmm.” Sage’s hands caressed his cock gently. “I like the idea of being stuffed.” He laughed as Alex took his lips in a deep kiss. Finally Alex let him go and shivered at the sultry look in Sage’s eyes. He batted Sage’s arse hard.
“Go off and get your shower then. And no, not together this time. I’ll have one when you’re finished. I want to get off in bed tonight. Soft mattress, dim light, maybe a few candles, and you splayed out naked with maybe a soupcon of something tasty dribbled over you.”
At those words, Sage’s eyes lifted in interest and more than a little lust. “Really? What did you have in mind?”
He moved closer to Alex who chuckled and stepped back. “Shower. Now. I’ll finish up here and then have mine -then we’ll see where the night takes us.”
Sage pouted, something Alex found completely adorable in his man. “Bloody bossy tonight, aren’t we? Christmas does something to you obviously.” But with one of his quick grins and a caress of Alex’s cheek, Sage disappeared as ordered.
Alex finished pottering, ensured that the dish washer was put on (Sage often forgot to switch it on once it was packed which irritated Alex no end) and turned out the lights behind him. It had taken longer than he’d thought. The one thing he did do before he left the room was pick up the bottle of Bailey’s Orange Truffle liqueur they’d received from their friend Cully as a present. He smiled to himself. He had plans for that bottle tonight so Sage had better prepared for messy sheets. Not that that was ever a problem. Sage’s bed had definitely seen more than its fair share of sticky, messy action.
When he reached the darkened bedroom, it was festooned with flickering lights casting shadows through the open door. Sage was splayed cavalierly on the sheet, covers pushed down to the bottom of the bed, his lean body outlined by the warm, shuddering light from the candles burning around the room. The warm scent of sandalwood flooded the air. Alex grinned. Sage had definitely set the scene for his night in. A rush of pure loved course over him like a warm breeze as he set the bottle of liqueur down at the foot of the bed.
How the hell did he deserve all this? This man and this life he currently had?
As his eyes grew accustomed to the dim light he saw Sage stroking himself, a small smile on his full lips. “You took your time getting here. I’m all squeaky clean and waiting and you haven’t even showered yet.” He opened his legs more and Alex caught a breath at the sight of his bold and brash man looking for all the world like the star in a porn movie. Sage’s long, plum coloured cock rose from the depths of the black curls at his groin like a flagpole and he waved it at him with one hand, a mischievous expression on his face.
“Hi, I’m Sage’s dick and I’m really anxious to make your acquaintance. I’m the ghost of Christmas Present.”
Alex burst into a fit of giggles at that as he went into the bedroom and locked the door. He wasn’t giving his boyfriend a chance to sneak up on him. He had other plans tonight.
“I’ll make it quick,” he called out as he started the shower. He laughed at Sage’s reply.
“God, I bloody well hope not.”
Alex showered, wondering what Sage was doing out there to keep himself entertained. That thought made him harder than he’d been just seeing Sage spread out lazily on the bed like a sexy sacrificial offering. He switched off the water, towel dried his short hair and wrapped a towel around his waist. He opened the bathroom door and was surprised to see no Sage on the bed. As he stepped into the bedroom, he turned his head to search for his boyfriend then gasped in shock as a warm, naked body grabbed him from behind and propelled him towards the bed. Alex laughed as his lover grasped his hips, pulling the towel off and then pushed him face down onto the covers. Sage crawled onto the bed with him and lay his length along Alex’s back, hands pinning his shoulders in place as Alex turned his face valiantly to the side, trying to get a breath from having close to a hundred and eighty pounds of muscled man on top of him.
“Where the hell were you hiding? Christ, Sage, I can’t bloody breathe. Get off me, you idiot.”
“Hmm. Let me think about that. No.” Sage’s husky whisper caressed Alex’s ear and sharp teeth bit down on the lobe of his ear. Alex was very aware of having a hard, already slick and heated cock pressed against his crease, and he tried to free himself despite the fact his own cock was threatening to drill a hole through the bed.
Sage chuckled. “I find room corners a great place to lurk when half naked men in skimpy towels come into the bedroom.” He began licking a long trail down Alex’s back, paying special and loving attention to the scars he had, especially the four long slashes left by a sabre wielded by a psychopath in a previous life. Alex closed his eyes, resignedly surrendering himself to the fact that Sage wouldn’t release him until he was ready and he’d had his fun. To be honest, he didn’t want the situation to change. Not just yet. He sighed in pleasure as Sage continued his teasing of Alex’s body, seeming to devour every bit of skin he could find. Nimble fingers caressed Alex’s balls, stroked his taint, making his breath come in sharp gasps and the sensations in his groin intensified. Alex closed his eyes, the thought of being inside Sage when he finally got his chance making him grin into the pillow. Finally, he shifted uncomfortably at the pressure in his groin, thinking that at this rate, the sheets were going to be messed up before he even got the chance to spend himself inside Sage’s willing arse. He wriggled his backside and pushed it up towards Sage as his boyfriend’s lips approached his arse cheeks.
“Sage, baby,” he muttered, “Hurry up and have your fill because I really need to get my own party on the road. You’re killing me here.” He winced as teeth bit into his left cheek and the pressure on his body released as Sage rolled off him to the side with a huff of warm breath.
“You’re not only a bossy bastard, but impatient too.” Sage eyed him with darkened eyes and swollen lips as Alex turned onto his back and observed the decadent form of his lover once more splayed before him.
Sage grinned at him. “So what was this something tasty you were going to dribble all over me?” His tone was curious and Alex smiled. The one thing Sage couldn’t stand was being kept in the dark about anything. The man had an insatiable curiosity for secrets and surprises. It was why Alex had had to hide all Sage’s Christmas presents at Dan’s so that he wouldn’t rip the cottage apart looking for them. Alex scooted across the bed and reached down to pick up the bottle of liqueur from the floor. Sage’s hand swatted his arse cheek in a sharp slap and Alex jumped back with a yowl.
“Hell, Sage, next time bloody warn a bloke.”
“That would take the fun out of it,” Sage drawled. His eyes looked at the bottle in Alex’s hand he licked his lips. His cock twitched against his stomach and Alex saw he knew where this was going and that he definitely approved.
“And where pray tell do you intend putting that?” His eyes devoured Alex’s face greedily as Alex twisted off the top and moved over to Sage’s side.
“Lie back and put your hands above your head. Keep them there or I’ll get the handcuffs.”
Sage slowly lifted his hands above him and watched as Alex tipped the bottle and dribbled the orange scented cream across Sage’s nipples, down his stomach and poured some into his belly button. Sage’s breathing got deeper and Alex chuckled.
“Like that? Wait till you see where else it’s going to go. But first I’d better clean up my rather dirty boy…” He set the bottle down on the side table and started to lick the cream from nipple to nipple, slowly, deliberately like a cat licking cream. Sage’s body tautened, his hips rising up as Alex licked his way down his stomach and then drank the small pool of liqueur from Sage’s bellybutton. Sage’s cock brushed against his cheek and Alex rubbed his stubble against it causing Sage to hiss softly. His body arched up in entreaty.
“Alex, babe, whatever else you have planned, you’d better do it..a man can only take so much and you and that mouth of yours are driving me crazy.”
Alex picked up the bottle and dribbled it lightly down Sage’s rather flushed and swollen erection, and into the curls surrounding what was truly impressive sight. Citrus scented essence mixed with Sage’s own and he took a deep, shuddering sigh as Alex’s mouth closed around him and started to suck the sweet liquids from his cock and groin. His tongue twirled and lapped and the wiry curls against his nose and mouth drove Alex wild with desire, the taste of his man exhilarating. Sage moaned loudly. Alex tightened his mouth around his lover’s dick and proceeded to drive him crazy. The one thing Alex was very good at was blow jobs and he knew how to push all of his lover’s buttons. How to lick the tip of Sage’s cut cock until the man squirmed in pleasure; how to finger his hole while he was sucking him off, slyly insert his fingers one at a time, and wrap his tongue around Sage’s shaft and balls until the man in his mouth was a complete wreck and begging for release. Tonight was no different except for the taste of liqueur around Sage’s very willing member and the fact Alex was getting closer and closer to his goal of being inside Sage, who was more than ready from the feel of him.
“Oh, God, Alex,” Sage groaned as Alex gave one final swirl and suck and a last twist of his fingers to nudge against that sensitive spot inside. Sage groaned and his hips pushed deeper into Alex’s swollen mouth as Sage’s cock jerked he came with a loud primal cry, his own cream mixing with the creamy orange and musk taste in Alex’s mouth. Alex drank every drop of what was on offer and finally sat back with a satisfied smile while he regarded his now spent boyfriend.
Sage’s chest heaved and the sweat on his body mixed with the bits of dried liqueur Alex had missed. Alex positioned himself over Sage, his lips finding his as his own desperate cock pressed down into Sage’s stomach. He savaged Sage’s lips, tongues slicking and sucking, teeth knocking together in their combined passion. Alex loved to push his tongue as deep as he could, to own Sage’s mouth and Sage certainly seemed to have the same goal as he fucked Alex’s mouth. Finally he released Sage’s bruised lips and looked down at his lover. His boyfriend’s eyes were black, and the look of sheer abandon on his face made Alex want to blow right then and there. He fought back that impulse.
“Ready for me?” he whispered.
Sage nodded. “God , yes,” he groaned. “Don’t make me wait. I’m bloody hard again.”
Alex laughed breathlessly. “Don’t worry, I won’t. I’m surprised I’ve lasted this long myself. I doubt this will take too much time, Sage. The minute I feel you around me I think I might blow.” He moved and pressed his cockhead against Sage’s eager hole. They both cried out softly as Alex pushed his way in, revelling in the tightness that was Sage and losing his breath at the feel of his cock slipping through muscles and into heat and heaven.
“Fuck, you always feel so good,” Alex panted as he pushed deeper. “I love being inside you.” Sage laughed hoarsely. “I think I can say the feeling is completely mutual.” His breath deepened as he gripped Alex’s arse and propelled him deeper inside with desperation.
Alex’s hips found their momentum and he leaned down, kissing Sage’s open and willing mouth, thrusting to a rhythm as old as time but far more pleasurable. Sage’s moans echoed in his mouth. Alex lifted his face and watched Sage’s as he made love to his man. Sage rocked and twisted beneath him, eyes half closed and mouth open in ecstasy as Alex took control of his body. Sage’s cock was hard again, lying curved against his belly, slick and hot once again and as Alex rose effortlessly up and down, Sage’s hand drifted down to his cock and began stroking it. It was one of the things that turned Alex more than anything, to see him pleasuring himself at the same time Alex was.
“Hell, Sage, what you do to me, ” he panted. “You know I love seeing you do that.”
Sage’s whispered, “I know,” sent ripples of heat down Alex’s spine and made his movements deeper and harder. Sage grunted and tightened his other hand in Alex’s hair. Alex gazed down into blue eyes that looked up him with adoration and a smile that promised all the togethers they would ever need. His eyes stung with his need for the man beneath him and the knowledge that without him, Alex’s life would have been so different. He had indeed been blessed the day Christopher Sage had wandered into his life.
The tightness around his cock, the sweet increasing swelling throbbing of it and the pressure in his groin together with the ache in his balls as he enjoyed the pleasures Sage’s body had to offer pushed Alex to the edge. His body stiffened, his blood singing with heat and he erupted in wet, sticky heat into his lover, giving a cry of triumph as the sensation of his orgasm overtook him. He collapsed on Sage, well aware there was now a puddle of very wet and sticky fluid sandwiching them together from Sage’s second climax. For a while, there was only the sound of aftermath, heavy breathing, slight grunts and the smell of oranges permeating the air. Finally Alex pulled out with a slight squelch and rolled off to lay on his back.
Sage turned to look at Alex, reaching out a tender hand to stroke his cheek. “That was amazing. We should do that more often. You’re actually pretty good at it. My arse is now officially well pounded. ” The cheekiness in his voice made Alex reach down and grasp Sage’s softening and sensitive cock teasingly.
Sage jumped and pushed his hand away. “Oi. I think that’s enough for one night, you insatiable animal. That blow job you gave me was also incredible and I rather liked the idea of the booze on my body. I’ll have to try that with you, I think.”
Alex chuckled. “I won’t object.” He heaved a satisfied sigh. “I know we should have another shower but I just can’t find the energy to do it.”
Sage leaned over and kissed Alex’s stomach gently. “These sheets will wash. I don’t care about the wet, sticky spots. Maybe later we can get down and mucky again, make the most of it before we get clean.” He reached down to the bottom of the bed and drew the duvet over them both. Then he looked at Alex. “Did you enjoy your Christmas Day, babe?” His voice was quiet, uncertain. “I know today had a special meaning to you and I really wanted you to have the best time you could.”
Alex’s heart swelled at Sage’s words. “It was an amazing day.” He leaned over and kissed Sage softly. “You were the only thing I needed to make it special and I got all the others as a bonus plus we got to have a really great intimate night together. I honestly couldn’t ask for anymore.” His voice cracked as emotion welled up inside and Sage reached out and pulled him into his arms, nestling him against his side.
“I’m glad, honey. I never knew anyone who deserved it as much as you did. Tomorrow it’s just you and me. And my plan is to have a roaring fire, wine, leftover turkey sandwiches and then maybe I can put some of that liqueur to better use than drinking. Although we can do that too. I’m pretty sure there’ll be enough to go around.” His hand caressed Alex’s hair and Alex smiled as he snuggled into sleep.
“Hmm. I like the sound of that.” His voice was sleepy as he listened to the beat of Sage’s heart. “Have I told you lately that I love you -very much?”
Sage’s arms tightened around him. “You have but I never get tired of hearing it. I love you too, baby. More than you’ll ever know.”
Alex smiled and placed a possessive hand on Sage’s belly as his boyfriend’s breathing evened out and he drifted off to sleep. As Alex closed his eyes and settled in for sleep, he thought that this Christmas Day had been one of the best days of his life. If he had anything to do with it, there would be many more and topping Sage again was most definitely on his To Do list in the near future. He grinned in the darkness. Bugger naughty or nice. Downright dirty worked just fine for him.
‘Author of contemporary romance novels,wannabe scripts,independent, pain in the bum, humorous, driven, prone to strong opinion.’
I’ll leave off the last bit of my profile. It relates to a fascination I have with a certain young British actor called Benedict Cumberbatch who was the inspiration for my leading man, Bennett Saville, in my Starlight trilogy.
I was born in the UK, moved to Johannesburg, South Africa 42 years ago, and of that I’ve been back in the UK for twelve, loving every minute.
Some of the highlights of my life – apart from getting married, having kids and moving countries – I’ve been picked up by a punter who thought I was a prostitute (there is a proper story behind this, I promise) , been involved in a car smash much like the heroine, Cassie, in Cassandra by Starlight, (only not as a result of a falling body on my car!), become a Wiccan, spent time in Kenya, where my older sister was born, and had a dream of being published recognised with my debut novel.
I now have five books published with Boroughs with another eleven! novels on the way in the next 12 months, one of which is my second MM, called ‘Saving Alexander’ due out in October this year. I’m not sure when I’ll find time to sleep…
I also have a contract with Dreamspinners for an M/M romance called ‘Waiting for Rain’ which is due out in Feb/March 2014.
I just can’t seem to stop writing…it’s a true passion and I don’t envisage giving it up any time soon.